Four Seasons Hotel Alexandria, Friday Afternoon

[hasaknightjob]

Thursday had been spent enjoying themselves as much as possible, including the couples massage which had proven a great way to wind down after some sight seeing.

Friday... Friday was quieter.

Steven sat outside by their pool. He was dressed in his swimsuit but he was currently sitting cross legged by the edge of the pool looking into the water.

Looking at his reflection. Which was his reflection.

Which was fine. Good. What Steven was for, of course. Handling things that were too much or too painful for Marc to deal with.

Still. It wasn't as though Steven liked dealing with it either.

Steven sighed and kept looking down towards the water, not sure what to do.

[for the beau. warning for discussion of parent death and child abuse]

Comments

[pocketpretzels]

Having a chef at their disposal was wonderfully handy, even when what was needed didn't actually require cooking. Like the plate of fruits, crackers, and vegan 'cheeses' that Watts was currently bringing out to the terrace along with water and iced tea.

"Hello, you," he said softly, carefully placing the tray down next to Steven before he sat down as well, feet dangling in the water.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven immediately shifted so he could rest his head against Llewellyn's shoulder. "Hello, you. That looks nice."

[pocketpretzels]

"Thought you could use a little something," Watts said, pressing a kiss to the top of Steven's head.

[hasaknightjob]

"I could use a lot of you," Steven said. "May I have that as well, please?"

[pocketpretzels]

"As much as you'd like. I'm right here," Watts assured him.

[hasaknightjob]

"Thank you," Steven said. He picked a grape off of the plate and ate it. Not really hungry, but able to appreciate the cool temperature of the fruit all the same.

"I keep thinking it should be easier by now."

[pocketpretzels]

That lack of hunger had been why Watts went with something easy to nibble on instead of a heavy meal, yeah.

"Because more time has passed?" he said.

[hasaknightjob]

One of many reasons why Llewellyn was the best beau.

"Precisely," Steven said. "Time heals all wounds, and all that?"

[pocketpretzels]

"I don't know that it's that simple, darling," Watts said gently. "Time creates distance, but grief is- complicated. Messy."

[hasaknightjob]

"I keep thinking about Dad," Steven said. "He must be going through it as well, yeah? I - I don't think he's alone. Marc's memories, I saw people with him. Friends. Community."

[pocketpretzels]

"That's- good?" Watts ventured. "That he has people to lean on?"

He didn't want to assume; families, too, were complicated and messy things.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven nodded. "I don't like thinking of him being alone. Marc won't talk to him and I - "

Steven trailed off, sighing.

[pocketpretzels]

"You don't know if he'd know you," Watts figured.

[hasaknightjob]

"Precisely," Steven said. He looked down at his reflection in the water. "I feel so bloody useless."

[pocketpretzels]

Watts gave Steven a considering look. "Who says you have to be- useful?" he asked.

[hasaknightjob]

"I wish I could do more for Marc," Steven said. "Give him comfort in some way."

[pocketpretzels]

"Ah," Watts nodded. "Your presence does that, I think," he pointed out. "Though I think you mean- more akin to the sort you offer me after an unpleasant dream?" he guessed.

[hasaknightjob]

"Hate not being able to hold him," Steven said, nodding his agreement. "He doesn't ask, of course. Right now he wants to avoid it entirely. But doesn't stop me from wishing I could."

[pocketpretzels]

"That's your wonderful heart, right there," Watts said fondly.

[hasaknightjob]

"Thank you," Steven said. He put a piece of cheese on a cracker and tried nibbling that. "I think - I think it's different being here as well. I know we're not home home. But it's our world. The world where - where it happened. I don't know. It feels less abstract because of it? Her - the anniversary?"

[pocketpretzels]

"Of her death," Watts said gently, wanting to nudge Steven towards not tiptoeing around the facts.

[hasaknightjob]

Steven took a deep breath to center himself, because Llewellyn was right.

"Of her death," he said. Quietly, but he said it.

[pocketpretzels]

Watts didn't beam the way he usually did when Steven made him proud, but he did offer a small smile and a shoulder bump.

"I think that might be- a good thing, in a way," he offered. "You've been letting it stay abstract."

[hasaknightjob]

"I feel as though if I let it come too close I get overwhelmed," Steven said, not disputing Llewellyn in the slightest. "Oddly the grief I'm all right with? Not - I'd rather not need to grieve at all. But I understand it. Sort of wrapped my head around it. It's a loss, you mourn a loss. But there's so much else involved."

[pocketpretzels]

Watts nodded. "It will only continue to feel overwhelming," he pointed out. "If you keep- pushing things away."